Based on our experience, I’ll share three of the most important tips to motivate your child. As a coach in martial arts. It was the month of August 2007 as I was in a corner, coaching my son, who was eight years old. We were at the Modern Sports Arena in Karlsruhe, Germany.
Sam was standing in front of thousands of fans who were cheering him on, trying to win the first time his “World Kickboxing Title” in the weight class of under 25KG.
The road to get us here was a bumpy path of tantrums, arguments, and learning for myself and our son Sam. After reflection, I discovered some positive lessons I learned that I was fortunate enough to use in the right way to improve our relationship positively.
I’m looking to aid my students in developing their techniques, skills, and mindset. There’s a well-known method to accomplish this. If you spot an error in a student, make it right and help the student develop habitual habits by repetition.
It sounds rational and simple, and so does good parenting. However, the method is ineffective. The act of publicly correcting someone is the most insignificant human emotion, shame. We’re publicly shaming the person and instilling an attitude of negativity.
We’re shaming our children privately and forcing them to adopt a defensive mentality at home. The first step must be the complete opposite and this step will help most to motivate your child.
1. Constantly Catch Your Child Doing Something Right to Motivate Your Child
This is a way to reinforce the positive behavior you wish to observe. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t ever be a disciplinarian to motivate your child because there is always a need for it.
Imagine your child as an account at a bank if you are constantly catching them when they are doing well, and you deposit money into it. Each when you correct them, you take a withdrawal. It’s much easier to accept withdrawals when there’s an appropriate balance in your child’s emotional bank account.
If Sam had had the impression of hearing “great effort on the pads” or “that kick was 100% accurate,” He would have been more content having heard “keep your hand up when punching” if this was a critical coach’s tip.
Tony Robbins has a great quote that says:
The energy flows wherever attention is.
If you can identify the wonderful things your kids are up to, you’ll begin to notice more awesome things, and this creates positive energy as you interact with your children.
Being a parent is difficult, as is being their coach makes the relationship more complex. There are two hats you have to wear. On days when you do not feel like exercising, It could hit you twice on the face.
The key is to provide your child to make choices, not demands.
2. Choices, Not Ultimatums to Motivate Your Child
This tip is very be very helpful to motivate your child. Ultimatums seem so easy for us, especially when we’re exhausted. “Sam, grab your kit bag and get in the car or you’re banned from Nintendo for a week” is a simple thing to say when people don’t want to train.
As parents, we are responsible. We know what is best for their children, so we employ ultimatums to increase our control, isn’t it? But, usually, it’s our inner voice of the monkey that is heard when we issue these ultimatums. Therefore, we’re not in complete control at any time.
Instead, I’ll take a long breath, let my mind clear, and then say, “Sam, you’ll be off for training in just 15 minutes. Are you looking to get your gear into the car or play your game later?” It’s a subtle distinction, but by making a decision such as this, you’re taking the word “no” from the picture and giving children to take an informed choice.
You may think that exercising your authority will keep you in charge. However, it’s just an illusion. No one likes to be ordered to stop doing what they’re doing and take a different action. They are deemed unimportant, and they’ll find it difficult to follow your instructions.
The task may be completed. However, you feel the negative energy, and the job isn’t completed in a manner that makes you feel happy. There’s a chance to use this strategy daily and build the foundation for a positive relationship.
“Would you like broccoli or cauliflower?” “Would you prefer to do your homework on Saturday or Sunday?”
As I was training my son Sam I noticed that I was getting more results by using this approach. The strategy could be as simple as “Do you want to work on your punching or kicking today?” or “Do you want to train on Saturday or Sunday this week?”
This can make a huge difference in how the session began, with plenty of positive energy off the bat. The final tip is the toughest to take in as an adult. We are the most important thing.
3. Monkey See, Monkey Do!
Children mimic their parents from the way they speak to how they dress and behave. We exert a greater influence on our children’s behavior based on what we instruct and motivate your child to do. They’ll model our manners, attitudes, and more. So, what Motivate Your Child is our actions as parents.
In the beginning, you may think that this is awesome. The biggest “but” is that they don’t replicate the traits that we expect to see. They tend to concentrate on our flaws and make them more prominent by several 10.
If you motivate your child then read my story. I’m always trying to become a better parent and coach. The fact that I’ve driven an automobile for over 25 years doesn’t necessarily mean I’m proficient at it. Many drivers have spent several months learning to drive and then make the same mistakes every year.
If you’ve tried at teach and Motivate Your Child to drive, you’ll realize how many adjustments you’ll have to make since you started learning and the numerous mistakes you make that your children will gladly highlight.
The idea of telling your child that they must “do what I say and not what I do” won’t make a difference in the debate. If you would like your child to feel more confident, ask yourself. What are you doing lately to show your confidence?
Suppose you wish for your child to increase their self-esteem. Are you apprehensive about wrinkles, waistlines, or anything else that is constantly in the vicinity of your ears? If you wish for your child to become the world’s best kickboxer, What are you doing to display superiority towards your child?
The main point is that all of us have the potential to improve. This article is for you, and you’re concerned about your growth as a parent.
Laura Markham, Ph.D. Author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids, Says that children “may not always do what we say, but they will always, eventually, do what we do.” Therefore, most of what kids learn about behavior is through what we show them. This is why, regardless of the lessons you teach and motivate your child, they’ll gain more knowledge from the environment they experience.
My request is to identify three ways you can become more of a role model to Motivate Your Child. Then, take action to implement this plan.
I hope these tips will be very helpful for you to Motivate Your Child. Share this article
Read this article to help your child to Determined and Achieve his Goals.